The 1:1 meeting is an opportunity to support your direct reports and enable their potential. It is the time of the week when both give up on their time to be together. Using this time effectively can positively impact their performance. So, let’s use it wisely and make the most of it.
Preparation
💡 "The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. - H. Jackson Brown Jr
First, let’s set up a recurrent weekly/biweekly meeting. The meeting should always be on the same day and time. The idea is to create a routine. If you are working at the office, you should book a private room where they can feel comfortable talking about anything without worrying that anyone can hear. A safe space helps people to open themselves. If you work remotely, ensure you are in a quiet place without distractions.
The second thing is to prepare a place to take notes. It can be an application (CultureAmp, Fellow, etc.) or a shared document (template). This place is where you write notes and keep track of the topics to discuss. The idea is to revisit it at every meeting and keep a historical log of all discussions.
First 1:1
If you are doing a 1:1 with a person for the first time, it is essential to set expectations. Make it clear what you expect from them and how you can support them to perform their best.
Something to take into consideration is that every individual has a different personality. Meeting a person for the first time can be intimidating. Some people can be more defensive. It is your priority to break the ice and make them feel comfortable.
Here is a list of questions that I find helpful on my first one to one:
- Can you describe your best and worst manager?
- How do you like to receive feedback?
- What is the best way to work with you?
- How do I know things are not going well?
- How can I support you in doing your job?
- What is your next career goal? How can I help you achieve that?
- What time of the day are you more productive?
Regular 1:1s
During 1:1s, it’s important to remember that your role is to be a listener and a facilitator. If possible, keep it 70/30, where your peers talk 70% of the time. You learn from listening and not from talking about what you already know. In the end, it’s their meeting.
Here is a list of topics to focus on during your 1:1s:
Feedback
It is vital to create a culture of feedback. Working in an environment where your team can safely share their thoughts can dramatically boost engagement and performance. 1:1s is an excellent opportunity to give and receive feedback. For example, share some of your observations from the past weeks.
If they don’t have any feedback, try to ask open questions:
- How has your work been going this week?
- What do you think about our working process?
- What is going well? What is not going well?
- How do you feel working with Sarah?
- Do you have any concerns about the quarterly goals?
- What is your biggest challenge that keeps your mind busy?
Follow the Agenda
As mentioned before, having a shared place where both can write topics to discuss is essential. You can start your 1:1s by opening the document and reviewing any pending actions from previous sessions. After going through all previous topics, you are ready to discuss new items on the agenda. Remember that 1:1s help build a relationship of trust. You don’t want to affect your relationship because you ignore or forget topics on the agenda. If you don’t have an answer, be honest and tell them you need more time to gather the required information.
Detect Anomalies
Use your 1:1’s to detect anomalies in your team to avoid getting unpleasant surprises. For example, a team member has always been energetic and motivated and suddenly is quiet and tired. Then, it’s a pattern to investigate. Detecting problems while they are small can avoid big catastrophes.
Personal Development
Use this time to focus on their personal goals. It is part of your job to help them reach the next level. Usually, companies have a career growth framework to help them understand what they need to improve to get to the next level. However, not everyone has a clear path in their career. So, it is your responsibility to coach them. Coaching is beneficial for your team when done right. Instead of giving answers, ask challenging and open questions to pick their brains. Let them do the hard work and find the solution by themselves.
Cancellation Policy
What if there are no updates or topics to discuss? It shouldn’t be an obligation to attend the meeting. Although, skipping 1:1s is an exception, not the norm. Ensure you don’t skip twice to avoid missing opportunities to support your team, and always double-check with them if there are no topics to discuss.
Awkward Conversations
Not all conversations are straightforward or pleasant. 1:1s are the perfect meeting to discuss uncomfortable topics with your direct reports. Having awkward conversations helps show vulnerability and create trust. The majority of the time, people grow when embracing discussing awkward topics. Challenge your direct reports to bring up uncomfortable topics.
Here are some examples:
- Give negative feedback and point out examples where you disagree with their performance.
- Give positive feedback and praise them for their excellent work. Usually, it would be best if you praised in public, but some people don’t feel comfortable.
- Talk about emotions and how people feel about work-life balance and burnout.
- Ask questions about their growth: How can you improve to be better? What is your current biggest challenge? What are you doing to grow professionally?
Beyond Boundaries
Something to take into consideration is that you are not a therapist. People can get emotional and discuss personal issues that go beyond work. That is fine and expected. Not everything needs to be work-related. As a manager, you should support them in any circumstance. However, you should be careful and know your limits. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to recommend a specialist. Check with your HR department if your company has partnerships with mental health or therapy institutions. Keep it private, and give that person some time off to recover.
To conclude, we discussed why 1:1s are essential and why you should include them in your job as a manager. Here is a summarised list of dos and don’ts:
Do’s
- Set up a recurrent weekly/biweekly meeting and book a quiet room.
- Use an application or a shared document to take notes about the meeting and to add topics to discuss.
- Go through the list of pending action items and discuss any subjects in the shared document.
- Let your direct reports lead the session. Remember, your role is to listen and coach them.
- Set quarterly goals and discuss their personal development.
- Challenge your direct reports with awkward conversations to help them grow.
- Create a culture of feedback by giving and receiving valuable feedback.
Don’ts
- Avoid spending time asking for project updates. There are other meetings for that, like the daily standup.
- Avoid using 1:1s to share public updates that can be announced to the entire team. Sharing general updates is inefficient since you will repeat them for every direct report.
- Don’t say bad things about other people. You don’t want to create a gossip culture and make your direct reports think that you talk bad things about them with other people.
- Do not cancel 1:1’s repeatedly. You must ensure your peers feel supported and have their own time.
- Do not forget or ignore pending action items.