Feedback is one of the most powerful tools for building synergies and continuously improving your team’s performance. If you are practising active management, you should consistently give and ask for feedback.

Giving Feedback

Giving feedback is a double-edged sword. When giving positive feedback, things are relatively easy since most people like receiving good feedback, even though it can feel awkward saying positive things to someone. However, things get more complicated when it comes to giving constructive feedback. When doing it wrong, you can easily upset people and sometimes turn them against you.

To facilitate the process of giving positive or constructive feedback, I highly recommend using the COIN conversation model, which consists of guiding the conversation using the following structure:

Context - Outline the particular event, circumstance, or issue you want to discuss. Example: I have some feedback about the meeting we just had.

Observation - Be specific and factual about your observations. Example: During the meeting, I observed you consistently interrupted Georgia when she was trying to share her ideas.

Impact - Explain why the event matters and how it affects others. Example: It gives the impression that you don’t care about her ideas, making the team reluctant to share their thoughts.

Next Steps - Discuss how to prevent this event from repeating and agree on the changes or improvements you expect going forward. Example: When the team shares ideas, you must raise your hand and wait for your turn to talk to avoid interrupting others.

Applying the COIN model

Scenario: John Smith is a senior engineer on the Indigo team who wrote a technical specification describing a solution for the payments system to support cryptocurrencies. During the specification review, Amanda, a junior engineer, highlighted potential issues and proposed improvements that John ended up ignoring.

Context

First, you must own the feedback by using “I” instead of “they” to share your point of view, and you must be specific about the issue you want to discuss. You could say: “During the technical specification review, I realised multiple times that you ignored Amanda’s comments and improvements”. In this way, you take ownership of the feedback and explicitly address the issue of John ignoring Amanda.

Observation

After John has the context of the situation, you can mention more details about what you observed and let John express his thoughts. It’s vital to understand that feedback is a two-way process, and you must listen carefully to his point of view. However, he might start going out of context or bringing up other issues. In that case, you need to intervene and remind him that you are discussing this specific situation but are happy to address his concerns in a different session. The critical part is focusing on the initial event and avoiding discussing other topics. Something like: “I noticed in the meeting that you ignored Amanda’s input several times when she was trying to point out potential issues in your solution. Am I interpreting the situation wrong?”

Impact

Now that you are both aligned, you should outline the effects of the issue on Amanda and the team. Remember, your intention should be to make John understand the adverse effects and not feel bad. You could say: “Amanda looked down after the meeting because she was excited to share her ideas, and you ignored her. That attitude stops people from sharing their thoughts with the team, and your role as senior should be supporting the team and helping them grow.”

Next Steps

Finally, suggest some follow-up actions for John to improve. Listen carefully to his thoughts and if he agrees with the feedback. You could propose: “To amend Amanda’s situation, you should book a session to review her comments and ideas. It’s a good mentorship opportunity for you and a safe space for Amanda to grow.”

Positive Feedback

You can also use the COIN framework to provide positive feedback. For example, if John listened and appreciated Amanda’s comments, you could have said: “I have realised that you took into consideration Amanda’s feedback, and you have incorporated her comments in your solution. That shows that you value everyone’s input regarding seniority, promoting a growth culture.”

Tips for giving feedback

• Before giving feedback, it’s essential to understand the person’s mental state. If you feel something is wrong, understand the reasons before providing feedback. A personal event may be disrupting the person’s behaviours.
• Give immediate feedback while the situation is still fresh. It will be easier for the person to acknowledge the feedback. If you wait long, people will forget the context and details.
• Ask your team for their preferred method of getting feedback. When the time comes, you can tailor the feedback for each individual to be more effective and avoid uncomfortable scenarios. For example, some people prefer written over verbal feedback.
• When giving feedback, consider cultural differences. In some cultures, people take feedback differently, and it’s vital to address it case by case to ensure everyone feels psychologically safe.
• Use the COIN framework to guide and structure your feedback.
• Giving feedback is not only about constructive suggestions. It is vital to praise people and recognise them for their excellent work.
• Write down the feedback and share it:
  • It allows people to review their feedback.
  • You record feedback over time, which will be helpful during performance reviews.
  • Suppose the person moves to a different line manager. The new manager can access all the feedback to help during the transition.
• Ask for constant feedback from their peers to have different views about the individual. Peer feedback is valuable to avoid bias.
• When giving positive feedback, praise in public and provide constructive feedback privately.
• Own the feedback - Say “I said” instead of “They said”.
• If things get emotional, give time and space for the person to process the feedback and schedule a 1:1 for the next day to assess the situation.

Receiving Feedback

As mentioned previously, feedback is a two-way process. Your role as a manager is to give feedback to your direct reports to ensure they are growing on the right path, but it’s also about asking for feedback to understand if they are happy with your management style.

Measuring the performance of a manager can be tricky. Andy Grove mentioned in his book a great formula: performance of the manager = outcome of his team + the people they influence. As a manager, your role is to multiply the outcome of your team by supporting and developing them. So, a great way to understand if you are doing a good job is by asking for feedback from your team and the people you work with. Here are some occasions where you must request feedback:

Feedback about specific projects

Request feedback about a specific project from the people you collaborated with, both internal and external, to your team. You can get focused and valuable feedback to help you manage your next project.

Feedback in 1:1s

Ask for feedback during your 1:1s with your direct reports. They are the people who are in a better position to provide constructive feedback about your management. If you have created a culture of feedback, they should be comfortable giving you constructive feedback.

Anonymous feedback surveys

Some people can feel uncomfortable giving feedback directly. An excellent approach to this problem is sending anonymous surveys where people can write feedback without fearing being penalised. This approach only works if getting feedback from 5 or more people. Otherwise, it would be easy for you to determine who wrote the anonymous feedback, defeating the purpose of being anonymous.

Tips for receiving feedback

• People can feel defensive when receiving constructive feedback as part of a human mechanism. Someone mentioning that we should improve in certain areas is not a great feeling. However, you must be open and embrace the feedback positively with an attitude of self-improvement.
• Not all feedback is good, and sometimes it will hurt your ego. Listen carefully to what people have to say and accept that they might be right about you. The point of receiving feedback is to recognise areas of improvement and grow as an individual and professionally.
• If you disagree with the feedback, avoid switch tracking by raising unrelated issues. Respectfully accept the feedback and take some time to do a retrospective about it.
• Receiving feedback can be an excellent way to find your “blind spots”. People can point out something you are unaware of. Be open and receptive when you get feedback about a specific topic for the first time.

What happens if you don’t give or ask for feedback?

We have discussed the benefits and challenges of giving and receiving feedback. However, what happens if we don’t practice active management and give or ask for feedback?

• Performance misalignments: People might think they are meeting the role expectations and get surprised during performance evaluation. This leads to poor performance and people leaving the company.
• Lack of Improvement: Without constructive feedback, team members may not know what areas to improve, slowing their career development.
• Missing recognition: Absent positive feedback means missing chances to recognise and reward good performance.
• Reduced Innovation: Lack of feedback can lead to a culture where new ideas are not encouraged, stifling innovation and creativity within the team.
• Blind Spots: Without feedback, individuals may remain unaware of their weaknesses or areas for improvement, hindering personal and professional growth.
• Snowball Conflict: Your team doesn’t have an opportunity to address issues or concerns through feedback, which can escalate conflicts and impact the team’s productivity and health.